You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just had sex bonerless
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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