What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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