very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
