dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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