Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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