YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
