it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
