I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
