we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
