if you like me you must not know who I am
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
