I'm so fucking centered right now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
