Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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