My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
