my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
