I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I came so hard my ears popped.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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