Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
