smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
