if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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