I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
