Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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