We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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