Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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