It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
