I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
