That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
