the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
