Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
