you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
