I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
