cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
