I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
