her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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