guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
