Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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