i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
