Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
