I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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