last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
