All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
