I cockslap morals
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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