i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
