great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
