sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
