woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
