I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
should my penis look like a turkey
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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