Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
