Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
