I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
