There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Barsexuality is the new black.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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