Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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