We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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